Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
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