I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
