You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
