We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize