Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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