no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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