Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
