Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize