i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
