you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Randomize
