the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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