I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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