I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
