Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I look better un-naked...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
two words: eviction party
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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