I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
