is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
