I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
