vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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