hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
