A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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