Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
How's work?
Spinning.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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