I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
