You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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