i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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