his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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