we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
