You made me cry and you don't even care
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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