i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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