i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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