$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
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