Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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