So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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