Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize