Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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