WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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