I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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