i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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