I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
We named our party play list daddy issues
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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