i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Im part way to drunk.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
