There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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