i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Still dying that you shit outside
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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