Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
In other news, I just burned my penis
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
