I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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