Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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