Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize