first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize