I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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