After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
