please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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