wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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