I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Randomize
