At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
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