I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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