If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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