i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
