I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
