I love black thongs
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
