There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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