i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
