Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
