is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
