i just had sex bonerless
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
