btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
