You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
