i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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