I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
