If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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