I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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