dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
