Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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