the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
