You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
you will always have a special place in my vag
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
