It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
